


This Year's Love

by deareststars



Series: music is the only pleasure we have [2]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Diego Hargreeves Needs A Hug, F/M, Gunshot Wounds, M/M, Other, Protective Diego Hargreeves, Reader Has Powers, Reader-Insert, Telekinesis, because eudora doesn't die, reader also has no gender, reader can see the dead, reader dies lol, uhh kind of canon divergence if you squint, you're basically eudora except you can have a conversation with diego
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-26 19:37:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18184856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deareststars/pseuds/deareststars
Summary: He wishes he didn't let you go by yourself. He wishes he'd known. He wishes...he wishes he had kissed you one last time.Now all he can smell is copper.Now all he can taste is the salt of his own tears.And now, all that he knows is that you died in his arms.----based off of 'this year's love,' the song that plays when diego finds eudora's body in the motel





	This Year's Love

**Author's Note:**

> so this is definitely going to be a rewrite later. the umbrella academy took over my life recently and i've been inspired by the songs (by the way they abSOLUTELY FUCKING SLAP) so have 'this year's love' but in an angsty fanfic form because i'm emotionally numb all the way wOo
> 
> i'm probably going to do a couple more with the other songs, like 'exit music (for a film)' by radiohead and 'mary' by big cooper or something, i don't know yet. but stAy TuNEd mY DUDEs
> 
> note: i edited a few things and added more telekinetic shit

Diego didn't believe you the first time you had told him Klaus was missing.

 

It was after those two bastards had stormed the manor and almost killed all of you. Vanya was long gone, Allison and Luther were off doing who-knows-what, and you were tending to a minor scrape that you had received from the psycho lady. It might've been more your fault, all things considered; your telekinesis went haywire when things got stressful. One thing led to another and one of the lady's bullets had marked its target as you.

 

Still, you were bleeding, and Diego was helping you wrap up the wound. You suddenly went incredibly still, fingers hovering over the bandage, and looked around. "Have you seen Klaus?" you asked him.

 

Diego blinked. Klaus, somehow, had completely slipped his mind, what with his  _incredibly_ attention-catching attire and behavior. You had a point, he conceded; Klaus had been eerily quiet since the shoot-out, but Diego immediately dismissed it as his brother sneaking off to get high and leaving the rest of you to deal with the aftermath. He told you such, thinking that would be the end of the conversation.

 

He had forgotten about your bond with Klaus as well. Somehow, you'd developed two powers instead of one, and that was a milder version of Klaus' ability to see the dead. "No, it isn't just that," you muttered. Your eyes were flicking around the room (he noticed they strayed far away from where Grace's body sat, deactivated and still with that accursed sewing project on her lap) with such intensity that he felt a twinge of doubt. "Ben..."

 

You trailed off and shook your head. You got up and waved off Diego when he tried to assist you, giving him that stupid little cocky smirk. It never failed to make its way onto your face somehow. "I'm just going to peek around upstairs. Try not to get another knife into that poor moose head up on the mantle."

 

Diego rolled his eyes. "One time and you never let go of it," he grumbled to himself. You chuckled and kissed him on the cheek, sweeping out of the living room and going upstairs to check if Klaus was passed out anywhere.

 

Once you got upstairs, though, you knew that something was up. The bathroom floor was slippery and sudsy, bubbles having been flown everywhere by what you could only assume was an amused Klaus, and that wouldn't have been much on its own. However, you went into his bedroom and found his clothes strewn on the floor as though he'd been trying to put them on in a hurry. His headphones and music player were on the bed, abandoned.

 

You hurried back downstairs, feeling panic rise to a boil in your throat. "Diego!" you yelled. The man himself came out of the living room, a knife in one of his hands. "Klaus...I can't find him. HIs clothes are on the ground and his headphones are on the bed. It's not something that he would do if he was 'sneaking out to get high.'"

 

Diego winced at your biting tone, but he still couldn't let go of the doubts he had. "It probably isn't him getting high then, more...drunk? I don't know. It's not that big of a deal, anyway. Those two that attacked us, they were looking for Five and I doubt they would kidnap anyone who wasn't him."

 

You frowned, not willing to believe that Diego was being so careless about Klaus' well-being. Then again, you'd been the only person to even have a sense of what Klaus was going through and what he was willing to do to make the demons go away, so maybe it wasn't too far off. Still...

 

"You're not even a little concerned?" you pestered, crossing your arms. The bullet wound on your upper arm was hurting like a bitch, but you kept your face calm as you stared Diego down. He met your gaze unflinchingly, the knife having already been put back into his harness.

 

"Why should I be?" He paused and narrowed his eyes at you. "Actually, why should you care so much? What was he doing while you were trying to get a better grip on your powers? I can assure you that bastard was off getting high and drunk on anything he could get his hands on at sixteen years old under the watchful eye of  _Sir Reginald._ " The name was like poison on his tongue and you flinched back as well, knowing exactly what your father had done to make sure you wouldn't accidentally hurt any of your siblings. "While I was busy comforting you, I could  _smell_ the weed and whiskey on that asshole's body!"

 

"Stop," you whispered. "It wasn't his fault. You have no idea how hard it is for him to just get through life without the drugs. Sure, it might not be the best coping mechanism, but--"

 

"But nothing," Diego snapped. "You can see the dead too, can't you? And you're strong enough to get by without any of the fucking pills he shoves into his body every day and every hour--"

 

You clenched your fists together, trying to get a better grip on your telekinesis. You could feel the paintings on the walls starting to strain against their supports. "Don't you even dare compare my experiences to his," you hissed.

 

"Because you're a bodybuilder compared to him?"

 

"Because you would never know the hell he has to go through!"

 

The shouted remark held in the silence between the both of you, and you let out a forced laugh. "Never mind."

 

Diego snapped back to reality as you started heading out the door. "Hey, hey, where are you going now?"

 

You shot a spiteful look over your shoulder. Your hand was already steering the door open, and you sighed as the first blast of cold air hit you. "I'm going to find Klaus since no one else in this house seems to care enough about him!"

 

With that, the door slammed behind you, and Diego ran a hand down his face. Jesus Christ, another strike for him, he supposed. Why you still loved him the way you did, he'd never know.

-

You collapsed on a bench in front of a practically empty motel, your feet aching from walking around the entire town for the past couple of hours. Nighttime was starting to fall and your stomach was growling, but the last bits of adrenaline was still keeping you going and you couldn't give up just yet. So far, nothing had come in, no 'Klaus is back, stop worrying so much' or 'We found him passed out in an alleyway, stop worrying,' and you knew that Klaus had never been gone for more than a day. He'd always stumbled his way to a payphone at least to give you a drunken promise that he'd be back the next day.

 

So you stood up, about to make more rounds, when you paused.

 

You felt your gut begin to twist, and you turned around, expecting someone to be right behind you and poised to knock you out. Your hand was already drifting upward to meet your assailant with a blast of energy when you realized there was no one there. It might've just been your body on high alert, waiting for the first sign of Klaus to pop out of nowhere. God, you were really starting to miss his hyperenergetic ass.

 

A movement in one of the windows caught your attention. It looked like... _Ben?_

 

Before you could confirm anything, a violent beating on one of the doors diverted your focus. It sounded like it was coming from the second floor, perhaps the same room that the Ben look-alike was peeking out of.

 

You psyched yourself up, knowing that you weren't in the best condition to be facing anyone just yet, and began making your way up to the motel's second floor. Another flicker behind the window and you realized with a burst of elation that it really was Ben. He made eye contact with you and smiled in relief, gesturing toward the door to his right.

 

"Klaus?" you mouthed. He nodded, and you looked around for some way to get in without making any noise.

 

A housekeeping lady was jamming out to some tunes next to you, and you made sure she was preoccupied with her cleaning before you gently swiped a key from her apron. If you weren't just hallucinating, then hopefully they'd be able to forgive this simple act of breaking and entering when you found a missing person behind the door.

 

The lady moved down a couple of doors, and you carefully unlocked the door. It swung open on slightly squeaky hinges, but the noise was more than enough to alert the person seated in front of you. You didn't even need to get a full view of his face before you put two and two together and everything clicked.

 

You hugged your brother, minding his wounds, and felt him struggling against his bonds to hug you back. Happy little whimpers were coming out of his gagged mouth, and tears were streaming down his face, just slightly obstructed by his swollen eye. You felt a pang of anger make the vent's door rattle against the wall, and you pulled out one of Diego's knives (which you may or may not have 'borrowed') to cut through the duct tape.

 

He rubbed his wrists and ankles and sat still as you took the gag off in one sweep. He immediately tackled you in a hug, whispering little bursts of gratitude against your neck. You stroked his hair gently, about to turn and get him out of there when you heard the bathroom door begin to creak open.

 

You pushed Klaus down to the ground next to the bed and gestured furiously to the open vent. He caught your meaning but seemed hesitant to go. You gave him a soothing smile and mouthed, "I'll be back," which seemed to be enough for him. He struggled through the opening as you turned, hand raised to cast a shield in front of you to block the inevitable bullet.

 

Your anger for your brother's sake pulsated out from your body in a violent wave. The man was thrown back against the wall, his gun sliding out of his hand, and you made sure to kick it under the bed. Your hair was floating gently around you, and you heard a gun cock behind you moments before another wave threw the woman back. Judging by the grunt, she almost toppled over the railing, but your attention was focused on the guy in front of you, who was slowly standing up and about to charge you.

 

You held your hand up in a familiar motion, watching as the man floated upwards, helpless against your hold. His eyes began to bug out of his head as you tightened the telekinetic hold on his throat, veins popping grotesquely out of his forehead and his face turning an ashy shade of purple.

 

_"Number Eight! Control yourself! You are hurting your siblings!"_

 

You gasped. Suddenly, it wasn't the psycho monster that attacked your family in your grip, it was Ben, poor, sweet little Ben. You had been so caught up in your powers, in the determination to bring the murderers to their knees, that you'd accidentally caught Ben in your grasp as well. The mission would've gone perfectly had you not lost control and attacked your family.

 

That had been why Ben died. Not because of anyone else, not because of the murderers themselves. _You_ had weakened him to the point where he couldn't keep his grip on the monsters any longer, and then he...

 

The man dropped to the ground, gasping for breath, and you stared at him, withdrawing your telekinetic energy back into your body.  _Sweet, sweet Ben..._ You didn't know how he couldn't blame you for his death.

 

The gun cocked behind you again, and this time you were too late to stop it.

 

Blinding pain made you stumble back and fall down, hands scrabbling weakly at the open wound in your chest. Your warm blood against your fingertips made your head grow light, and the woman's footsteps echoed almost as loudly as the blood roaring in your ears. She walked to the man and helped him up, and they stood over your failing body, their conversation muted in comparison to your shouted mantra.

 

_I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die..._

 

The two left you, apparently figuring you were as good as dead. They suddenly paused in front of the vent. You heard the man grunt out a simple word, and the woman cursed, and they both fled, leaving you to your demise. Your vision was growing foggy, your pulse beginning to slow. Suddenly, death didn't seem all that bad.

 

Footsteps were beginning to clamber up the stairs, and you wondered who was coming to get you. Was it just your fevered brain speaking? Maybe God really had footsteps, or maybe it was Satan and his army storming the motel to retrieve you.

 

The world gave you an option C.

-

Diego knew something was up when Al told him that a certain Eudora Patch was requesting his help at the motel on Calhoun. She never needed his backup for anything, let alone a simple kidnapping case like the one they were going to now.

 

Luther had told him to go ahead, that he'd watch over Five, but even if Luther hadn't let him leave he still would have. He was still sick from worry about you; you hadn't answered any of his calls and your parting words were anything but endearing. God, he wished he hadn't been so stupid, he thought to himself as he pulled out from the boxing place and started driving to the place that Eudora had requested his help at.

 

When he got there, he knew something was wrong. He could see Eudora's moonlit figure standing at an open doorway on the second floor, but she was...shaking? He immediately dismissed the idea; Eudora was a hardened detective, he should know better than to think anything would get her close to tears.

 

It wasn't until he reached the room that he understood.

 

He breathed out your name, and like a miracle your head lifted ever so slightly, your normally bright gaze foggy and hands resting over a gun wound on your chest. "Hey," you whispered, your voice about as dim as your normally bright eyes. He thought it was a joke for a moment, then he saw the way the moonlight glinted off the crimson blood pooling around your body.

 

"No," he murmured, pushing past Eudora and grabbing onto you. He carefully sat you up, and as he took in the pallor of your skin and the fading pulse beneath his fingertips, he knew that he was too late to save you, even with Pogo and all of his miraculous medical expertise. Tears made his vision glassy. He leaned his forehead against yours and sniffed, getting a brief taste of your scent. "Why...Why didn't you wait for me?"

 

Eudora knew better than to disturb him in a moment like this, which was why she surprised him when she approached your weak figure. She knelt down next to you and brushed the hair out of your face, her fingers shaky against your head, and he wondered if the two of you had ever met. If you did, it wasn't something he was aware of, and something he wishes he'd known before.

 

"Don't be sad." Your voice was still irritatingly cheery, although it was fading and struggling against the bloodloss. "I should've waited for you. I shouldn't have stormed out like that, I know. I'm sorry."

 

"Why are you sorry?" His voice was starting to quiver and he could feel panic settle in, about to make his stutter noticeable. "I should be the one that's sorry. I didn't listen to you, you know Klaus better than I do, and I--"

 

His voice broke as he realized he was going to lose you. More than twenty years of fighting crime by your side and you were killed by a bullet to the chest that he wasn't there to protect you from. "I'm so sorry," he cried, biting his lip so hard that he felt blood collect. It was a weak twin of your blood staining his clothing. "I w-w-was so stupid. I was so careless, and now you're going to  _die!"_

 

His next words were cut off by a gentle brush against his lips. He opened his eyes to see a ghost of a smile on your face, which was slowly starting to fade as you began to sag against his arms. Your head dipped toward the floor and the blood collecting on your chest trickled down toward your neck, forming a crude river. "I love you, so, so much," you whispered. He squeezed his eyes shut again, not trusting himself to say the words out loud, but projected them toward you, hoping against hope you'd hear him.

 

He realized your shallow breaths were no more. Even though he knew what was going on, he repeated your name over and over again, shaking you to get a response, and when he couldn't get one, he pounded his fist against the ground twice and let out a heartbreaking sob. Eudora left your side and went over to him, hugging him tight to her body, and although he hugged her back he couldn't help but wish you were the one hugging him instead. Your body was laid limp on the ground, and you looked so incredibly... _small._

 

He wishes he didn't let you go by yourself. He wishes he'd known. He wishes...he wishes he had kissed you one last time.

 

Now all he can smell is copper.

 

Now all he can taste is the salt of his own tears.

 

And now, all that he knows is that you died in his arms.

-

The police sirens started to wail from far away, and Eudora pushed him up to his feet. "Come on, soldier, I'll take care of the cops," she murmured, oddly gentle with him despite their rocky history. "You...You need time to properly mourn them."

 

That reminded him.

 

"How did you know...them?"

 

He couldn't bear to speak your name, but Eudora was smart enough to know that he was talking about the dead body to their right. "We met at a coffee shop, right around the time you got kicked out of the police academy. We both bonded over you and we lost touch a couple of years ago, but that stunt you pulled at the donut shop got us back together again."

 

He nodded numbly, allowing himself to get one last glimpse at your body, so small and fragile in death, before he retrieved his knives and a receipt from the donut box he knew would come in handy later. Eudora gave him a gentle push out the door and he started to run, first at a jog then at a sprint, getting to his car before the tears began to fall freely.

 

He pounded his hand against the steering wheel, making the horn blast. Now that he was away from the smell, he knew that this was really happening. He knew he'd never see you again, see you laugh or cry or say 'I love you' or kiss him or look absolutely fucking badass fighting crime side by side with him.

 

Tears began to stream down his cheeks and he let out a choked whimper, stuffing his fist into his mouth to muffle the sound. God, what was he going to tell Klaus and the others? That you died because he was too fucking stupid to realize that you knew Klaus better than he ever would and that you'd know when something was wrong?

 

Diego steeled himself, allowing him one more minute to grieve, and finally pulled out of his hiding spot. He flew by undetected, the police officers never the wiser, and closed his eyes, engraving your memory into his mind. He'd make sure to never forget you.

 

Not the one true love of his life.

 

_When you kiss me on that midnight street_

 

_Sweep me off my feet_

  
_Singing, "Ain't this life so sweet?"_


End file.
